If there was one person in the world that I respected more than anybody it was my father. To me he was the DEFINITION of a man. He worked hard, provided for and spent time with his kids and he treated my mother as if she was the only woman in the world. It was this devotion to her that made me respect him above everything else. So when I got married and had kids of my own I patterned myself after him. I applied the lessons he had taught me over the years to my own life. It was to him, that I owed my success as a husband and father to. So when it was revealed that he wasn't who I believed him to be, to say I was hurt does not do my feelings justice. There's a reason why you don't place people in your life on pedestals, it's because when they fall off of them...they fall down HARD on top of you! Crushing every word of high praise you ever spoke and smothering the life out of every single bit of respect you carried in your heart for them.
My moment of clarity came in the form of a passing glance. I was out of town for a conference one weekend and decided I would go for a late night run to shake the stress of the earlier meetings off. While running on the cities' downtown streets I caught a glimpse of a couple locked in a lover's embrace sharing more than a couple of passionate kisses. It made me think of my wife and reminded me to call her once I got back to the hotel. By the time I had got closer to them they had already began walking again, strolling hand in hand quietly whispering and laughing to each other. As I passed them from behind I politely said "thank you" as they made space for me on the sidewalk to squeeze by. The man spoke to me, saying "No problem young blood." The spoken phrase as well as the voice was so familiar that it stopped me cold in my tracks so suddenly that I nearly tripped over my feet. As if in complete disbelief of what I had just heard I turned to face the couple to confirm with my eyes what my ears and heart had already knew to be true. Even in the moonlight bathed night sky I could clearly recognize the man's face. It was a face that I seen so many times in my life that I could have drawn it from memory.
And it was seeing the man's face that my heart was immediately broken. Two states away on a street I had never been on I was standing in front of someone one so familiar it hurt. The face belonged to my father. And as our eyes made contact I knew without a doubt that my life would never be the same. In life we learn that sometimes the burden of knowing costs more than the bliss of ignorance. And it was one of those moments that I wished I had not experienced. I had just witnessed the man that I loved and revered above all become the man that I always despised and prayed I would never become...an unfaithful husband. After damn near 40 years of marriage this bastard had the balls to creep around on his wife, MY MOTHER. As I stood there facing him and his mistress I felt a pain swell in my chest that was equaled only by my rising anger. For the first time ever...I felt hate. A seething and painful hatred toward someone that I had loved so much. The words that finally escaped my mouth will probably be forever lost in the deepest parts of my memory because all I will recall is the rage that only comes with the feelings of pure betrayal.
The greatest hero in my world had just revealed himself to be in fact the most sinister of villains. And it was on the way back to the hotel that I was forced to face how in the hell I was going to handle the information that I had just received. How would I tell my wife, my siblings and my mother what I had saw with my own two eyes. My idol. My example. My father had just committed the most unthinkable...unimaginable act of violation in my book. And now he had forced me into becoming a bigger villain than he was. Because it would be me who would sooner or later have to reveal his affair. I would be the one that would crush every one's image of the great man we all loved and respected. Nothing from that moment on would be simply black or white. Because what do you say when you know telling the truth will cause nothing but pain. I accepted the harsh but true fact...that everyone is flawed especially your heroes I also accepted another truth...that I hate my father for what I accidentally witnessed. I hate him for living a lie. I hate him for abandoning his vows and his marriage. I hate my father for betraying my mother...but most of all I hate my father for betraying me.
"Those that have greatness in them also possess the power...to bring the greatness out of those around them." - TWIL
