LOVE Will Always Be COLOR BLIND

    I will admit I never grew up having to deal with racial issues because mostly everyone in my life was beige. From home to school to church everyone I encountered shared the same skin tone as me. It wasn't until I left my little town to attend college that I was exposed to the different shades of the human rainbow. I will admit it was a huge adjustment and a bit of a reality shock but I was able to adapt. I met some really cool and accepting people during my freshman year, people of all hues and backgrounds. The experiences I shared with them exposed me to various cultures, beliefs and allowed me to realize that some the stereotypes that I had about other races and my own proved to be more often false than true. During my junior year while attending a party with some of my dorm-mates I met the most intriguing man I had ever encountered. He was easy to talk to, extremely funny and was very attractive. But I had initial reservations about letting him know I was interested in him because he was brown and I had never dated a brown man before but my girl-friends urged me to share my feelings. 

   So a couple of months later when I ran into him in the library I took the opportunity to approach him. As we talked we both confessed our mutual attractions for each other. From that day forward we became almost inseparable. I would almost say it was love at first sight. We spent most of our free time being together. Doing homework, watching movies, sharing meals and just enjoying each other's company. After about nine months I decided I wanted him to meet my family. So during Thanksgiving break we visited my parent's home. My father and mother welcomed him with open arms with only my dad grilling him as he had done all my former boyfriends. Everything seemed to be going great until my grandparents arrived. My grandmother would not acknowledge him and my grandfather openly shared his disapproval of me being involved with a black man, saying to him "I'm sure you're a nice guy but you should stick with your own kind and leave my grand-daughter alone." I had never felt ashamed until that moment. I was hurt and disappointed in them. I was embarrassed but more so because the man I had fallen in love with had to be subjected to such nonsense at the hands of those I called my family. But to his credit he handled them and the tension filled situation with class and grace never once showing that he was grossly offended by their views.

   It was in that moment that I realized that I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life. I actually fell deeper in love with him that day because of the way he chose to respond. On the ride home he made me laugh about the encounter and assured me that he wouldn't bend to outside influences when it came to our relationship. We continued our courtship and it grew grandly. It culminated in him proposing in front of his parents and mine moments after we both graduated from college. After we were married we began to really experience how much race mattered to other people. And even though sometimes it is just rude and hard to ignore we have adapted to the stares and odd questions about how two people like us ended up together and in love. We aren't dumb to the fact that there are many people that still believe as my grand-parents do that people of the same race should only be with their own but love doesn't care if your skin tones match. It just cares if your hearts and desires are on the same page. Years later I can honestly say we are happy together and that is what being in love is all about. I was blessed to find him and him to find me. So as we prepare to bring our twin daughters into this world we are thankful that we learned that even if people are not...love will always be color blind.

Be GREAT TODAY, because you may not be given the time to be tomorrow
TWIL

ACCEPTING That My DAUGHTER Is GAY

  

    I remember holding her the day she was born and making a silent promise to her and to God that I would do everything in my power to protect and prepare her. Even though that day was over twenty years ago I still try to honor that promise. I will admit after her mother died I felt that I no longer had the support I needed to protect or prepare her but with the Lord's grace we were able to endure. As a parent you try to give your child everything you had growing up and everything you didn't. So I spoiled her with everything I could afford and I raised her according to the values and beliefs that helped mold my own childhood and guide me as an adult. I encouraged her to learn on her own so that she could apply her own wisdom to situations and not simply take my advice or others without question. She grew up to be a fiercely independent, bold, intelligent and beautiful young lady a mirror image of the woman her mother was. As she entered high school I made peace that she would start to get more attention from boys and probably give some to them herself. Because I didn't want to sugarcoat any situation we openly talked about love and sex so that she would be prepared. I was proud that she never succumbed to the pressures and consequences some of her friends had suffered like pregnancy or contracting a sexually transmitted disease. 
  
   Then one day as I was preparing to get into bed she knocked at my door and asked could she talk to me. Our one-on-ones were very common but from her tone I suddenly became uncomfortably about what she wanted to discuss with me. I got up and followed her to the dinning room where we sat down to talk. The first thing she said was "I prayed about this and I feel comfortable enough to share this with you. BUT please listen to everything I say BEFORE you respond." I assured her she had my attention and silence as she prepared to talk. I listened to her sometimes teary revelation for about thirty minutes as she told me that she was attracted to women and how she felt that I might shun and disown her because of it. As promised I waited until she was finished before I spoke. I sat staring at her for a couple of minutes gathering my thoughts. I began by telling her my feelings about homosexuality and her being gay. I explained to her why I didn't understand or believe in same sex attractions and that only men and woman can create and birth children. She explained to me her feelings about being gay and how she planned to deal with the drama that came with the lifestyle. We ended up talking for hours sharing our views, understandings and more importantly our expectations.

   Afterwards even though we were standing on opposite sides of the fence we accepted that were still standing on the same lawn. I told her that it would take time for me to accept her lifestyle and she told me she would continue to try to respect my positions about it. It took a couple of months for us to fully vibe again but we eventually humbled ourselves enough not to judge or be angry with each other. Because in the end I accepted that they were her decisions to make and her life to live. And she accepted that she would have to live her life with the consequences and benefits of her decisions. I learned a lot about our daughter and myself that day. I became even more confident that I had kept my promise to protect and prepare her and she found a source of support in her father. With her revelation and my response we realized that we could truly talk about anything and even if we didn't agree we would still respect each other. Regardless of her sexual orientations I am very proud of the young woman that I call my daughter and I pray she is proud of her father. She has done what her mother and I had always raised her to do, make the best decisions possible given the information she had available. She is living her life happily according to her own rules. I will admit that yes it sounds crazy but the hardest and easiest thing to do...was accepting that my daughter is gay.

Be GREAT TODAY, because you may not be given the time to be tomorrow.
TWIL

$#&! VALENTINE'S DAY!!!

    He finally thought she was the one. He was confident that he found the woman that he would spend the rest of his life with. She was intelligent, funny, beautiful, elegant and had a body models would kill for. But what he didn't know was that she also had a dark secret that would eventually be revealed on the worst of all days imaginable...their wedding day, Valentine's Day. When the preacher asked if any person has good reason why they shouldn't be married, his best man stepped forward. He sadly confessed to sleeping with his best friend's soon to be future wife. And like a dagger to his heart in front of all their family and friends she tearfully confirmed the confession. His wedding day was supposed to begin a lifetime of happiness on the day created to celebrate love. But at the end of that day he would only remember the misery and pain. So that's why every year on the 14th of February while everyone is being all extra lovey dovey...he sits back shaking his head with his arms crossed thinking maaan...$#&! VALENTINE'S DAY!!!

   She was happy. Something she hadn't experienced in what seemed like decades. She had met the most amazing man. He treated her like royalty from the first day they met in the coffee shop. He was considerate and caring. He made her feel like no other woman in the world was more important than she was when they were together. She was so excited to be spending Valentine's Day with him that she bought a new dress and sexy underwear because she knew tonight she would give him her greatest gift. The date was magical and as they were leaving the restaurant she knew in him she had found something special. Until his wife confronted them. She attacked her husband as he was opening the car door for her. Then turned her rage on her as she tried to explain that she didn't know he was married. The cab ride back to her home was sickening. She could only think about the embarrassment and disappointment. So that's why every year on the 14th of February while everyone is being all extra lovey dovey...she sits back shaking her head with her arms crossed thinking girrrl...$#&! VALENTINE'S DAY!!!

They knew they had married for the wrong reasons but they still tried to make it work for the kid's sake. After over a decade of faking and pretending to be happy they both admitted their relationship was over. The love was there but it wasn't enough to resolve the numerous issues that plagued their union. It seemed like fate that their divorce would be finalized on the anniversary of their first date, Valentine's Day. It was awkward to be sitting at a lawyer's office table instead of at a candle lit dinner table. But they knew what needed to be done. They had to save face now so that they both could continue on with their lives and so that the kids wouldn't have to suffer the effects of a broken and divided home any longer. They signed the papers, shook hands and went their separate ways. There is something painful about divorce it is like a reaffirmation of a failure you acknowledged too late. So that's why every year on the 14th of February while everyone is being all extra lovey dovey...they sit back shaking their heads with their arms crossed thinking...$#&! VALENTINE'S DAY!!!

Be GREAT TODAY, because you may not given the time to be tomorrow.
TWIL

What if HE was YOUR SON?!

   "I want to tell you a story. I'm going to ask you to close your eyes while I tell you the story. I want you to listen to me. I want you to listen to yourselves. Go ahead. Close your eyes, please. This is a story about a young man walking home from the grocery store one rainy afternoon. I want you to picture this young man. Can you see him? Bundled up, with a hoodie pulled over his head to keep the rain off his face as he carries a small bag of Skittles and Iced Tea home for his younger brother. Suddenly a man appears in the complex of his father's home and confronts him. The man is a stranger to the young man yet he is questioning him why he is here. The young man tells the stranger he doesn't know him and that he doesn't have to answer him. The stranger demands that he responds to him and becomes agitated at the young man's perceived defiance.
 
   The young man again confirms that he is a stranger and he owes him no such explanation. Words are exchanged and a fist fight ensues as the rain falls during the dark night. A gun is pulled and shots are fired. The young boy's body goes limp and cold. The stranger stands up and paces nervously around the body waiting for the police who told him not to confront the young man to appear. The young man is pronounced dead on the scene. The stranger is allowed to return to his home with his weapon, the same gun that was used in the altercation that resulted in the boy's death.  The boy's body is taken to the morgue. Can you see him? His body is tested for drugs. And even though a mobile phone is on his person no attempt to go through it and contact family was made so he is toe tagged and listed as a John Doe.

   Can you see him? Laying there on the metal slab with a sheet draped over him. His father concerned that his son didn't return home nor was he reachable on his phone files a missing person's report only to have the local police come to his home bearing photo's of his son's corpse. Can you see him? I want you to picture that young man in the police photos. His life taken away from him at 17 during an avoidable dispute with an armed self appointed neighborhood watch man. What lengths would you go to get justice for him?! Can you see him?!" What if he was your son?!*


*Premise Based on Jake Brigance's closing in "A Time To Kill"

Dedicated to all persons that have lost their lives to violence and to their families that are still seeking Justice to honor them.

Be GREAT TODAY, because you may not be given the time to be tomorrow
TWIL