I will admit I never grew up having to deal with racial issues because mostly everyone in my life was beige. From home to school to church everyone I encountered shared the same skin tone as me. It wasn't until I left my little town to attend college that I was exposed to the different shades of the human rainbow. I will admit it was a huge adjustment and a bit of a reality shock but I was able to adapt. I met some really cool and accepting people during my freshman year, people of all hues and backgrounds. The experiences I shared with them exposed me to various cultures, beliefs and allowed me to realize that some the stereotypes that I had about other races and my own proved to be more often false than true. During my junior year while attending a party with some of my dorm-mates I met the most intriguing man I had ever encountered. He was easy to talk to, extremely funny and was very attractive. But I had initial reservations about letting him know I was interested in him because he was brown and I had never dated a brown man before but my girl-friends urged me to share my feelings.
So a couple of months later when I ran into him in the library I took the opportunity to approach him. As we talked we both confessed our mutual attractions for each other. From that day forward we became almost inseparable. I would almost say it was love at first sight. We spent most of our free time being together. Doing homework, watching movies, sharing meals and just enjoying each other's company. After about nine months I decided I wanted him to meet my family. So during Thanksgiving break we visited my parent's home. My father and mother welcomed him with open arms with only my dad grilling him as he had done all my former boyfriends. Everything seemed to be going great until my grandparents arrived. My grandmother would not acknowledge him and my grandfather openly shared his disapproval of me being involved with a black man, saying to him "I'm sure you're a nice guy but you should stick with your own kind and leave my grand-daughter alone." I had never felt ashamed until that moment. I was hurt and disappointed in them. I was embarrassed but more so because the man I had fallen in love with had to be subjected to such nonsense at the hands of those I called my family. But to his credit he handled them and the tension filled situation with class and grace never once showing that he was grossly offended by their views.
It was in that moment that I realized that I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life. I actually fell deeper in love with him that day because of the way he chose to respond. On the ride home he made me laugh about the encounter and assured me that he wouldn't bend to outside influences when it came to our relationship. We continued our courtship and it grew grandly. It culminated in him proposing in front of his parents and mine moments after we both graduated from college. After we were married we began to really experience how much race mattered to other people. And even though sometimes it is just rude and hard to ignore we have adapted to the stares and odd questions about how two people like us ended up together and in love. We aren't dumb to the fact that there are many people that still believe as my grand-parents do that people of the same race should only be with their own but love doesn't care if your skin tones match. It just cares if your hearts and desires are on the same page. Years later I can honestly say we are happy together and that is what being in love is all about. I was blessed to find him and him to find me. So as we prepare to bring our twin daughters into this world we are thankful that we learned that even if people are not...love will always be color blind.
Be GREAT TODAY, because you may not be given the time to be tomorrow
TWIL
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