When we first met there was an instant sexual attraction. It was so strong that we ended up having what I thought would only be one of those legendary one-night stands I would tell my boys about later. But thankfully we found something greater than the sex appeal we shared and the love we developed strengthened our physical chemistry. I always looked forward to our sessions because they were so intense and filled with passion. Our compatibility in the bedroom allowed us to enjoy a level of openness and comfort that few other couples ever experience. We dated for years until we decided that the time was right for us to get married. Our wedding ceremony was magical, the scenes that dreams are made of. Our wedding night was more explosive than anything I had ever felt. It just reaffirmed to me that I had finally found the woman that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with and share my bed with forever. The love we made was nothing short of mind blowing and to a man as sexual as I am there was nothing more satisfying than loving a woman that gave him the greatest sexual experiences he had known.
I was beyond happy and fulfilled by every aspect of our relationship but the sex we shared made me feel special. I was floating on cloud nine all the time! Then after a couple of years of marriage things started to take a turn for the worst. I began to feel neglected because she was logging more hours at work trying to make partner and the talks we use to have all the time about us becoming parents began to not happen at all. Every time I would take the initiative to make a move to arouse her or ask for sex she would have an excuse to counter. At first I would just be patient and accept her reasons but then it eventually got to the point that she would start sleeping in the other room to avoid the pressures she said I was putting on her. We use to have sex sometimes three times a day now we don't have sex for three or more weeks at a time. One time during one of our now common dry spells I absolutely spazed and accused her of cheating on me because she refused to touch me. But as she normally did when I got upset she would assure me that she wasn't cheating, give me great sex and then I would leave it alone again until the next dry season.
In my heart I know she is faithful but I just can't understand how we progressively went from not being able to keep our clothes on in each other's presence to not even sleeping together. It just hurts that I have to practically beg her, MY WIFE for the affection and pleasure of being with her that I had become so accustomed to receiving back when we were only dating. And then when we do make love it feels forced like she is just doing it to quiet me down which makes me feel guilty as if I am forcing her. My heart is breaking because I don't want to be without her but I don't know how else to proceed. I have talked to her. I have pleaded with her. I have even threatened to divorce her. Truth is I don't know how long I can live without her touch anymore and the lack of attention is causing me to think about getting it from another woman. I don't want to give in to that temptation because I do love her and I still greatly desire her. I am at a crossroads because I have needs that she used to meet without question but now she refuses to even acknowledge them. I constantly ask myself, how do you make someone want you as much as you want them?! I never imagined that after all we had been through in our relationship and all the great love we made that the one thing that could threaten to break us down and break us apart is being married and celibate.
Be GREAT TODAY, because you may not be given the time to be tomorrow.
TWIL
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