Dress Like A Lady...Be TREATED LIKE A LADY

   People always say don't judge a book by it's cover because you might miss what's inside the book. And I agree that is a correct assumption...when judging a book that you want to read. But any author or publisher that is honest with themselves will tell you that it is the outside cover and title that they use to grab the attention of the target audience. Once the attention has been grabbed, then the readers decide if they like what they have read. Same application applies to how a woman dresses. A woman's attire grabs attention and the clothing that a woman chooses to wear creates a persona (one that is created beyond her control) that immediately labels her as either a Lady or Whore. Now before you ladies start rolling eyes and saying "I'm GROWN! I can dress any way I want! You ain't my daddy!!!"...hear me out. From a MAN'S PERSPECTIVE and from the lesser cared about, but equally important perspective (that of other women), the way a woman presents herself is supremely important. How she walks, talks, and looks all paint a picture of how she is viewed in the minds of the people she interacts with. As comedian Dave Chappelle famously said "Yes just because you (women) are dressed a certain way it doesn't make you a certain way. Fine lady! You are not a whore! But I'll tell you this...YOU ARE wearing a whore's uniform." He was referring to that old saying "perception is reality". It's not right but how a woman is dressed IS important. Not only for her own image but for the perceived image that others will have of her. Now I agree, it is not a fair truth to but it is a truth none the less. Unfortunately women aren't held in the same regard or to the same standards as their male counterparts. You ARE overly sexed and categorized and you are constantly and sometimes harshly judged on your appearance. It is because of that unfair assessment, that as a woman you must understand that how you dress ultimately influences the type of attention you will receive from other females and males alike. Still don't see how what you wear matters? How about we look at it from the OTHER WOMAN'S PERSPECTIVE.

   Let me start by acknowledging what everyone knows...that women hate other women. They don't need a reason to, it's just coded into their DNA. Some women have to find something, anything to dissect another woman down to her core and complain about it (nothing wrong with that, dudes secretly envy and hate on other dudes too). If a woman is skinny, other women say "she looks anorexic." If a woman has curves, other women say "she needs to stop eating cheeseburgers." If a woman has a husband, other women say "she thinks her man is all that." If a woman is single, other women say "she always so lonely". As much drama as other females can create on lies alone, why as a woman would you want to give them ammunition to take shots at you by dressing in what is viewed as trampish attire? I have listened to the sound of women bashing other women but the volume is loudest when a woman spots another women dressed in a provocative way. In the eyes of another female if you are wearing more make-up than she is, shake more when you walk than she does or if your clothes are showing more boob-age or buns than hers...LOOK OUT!!! Talk about a rain storm of insults! I have actually witnessed females go out of their way to confront another female because of her outfit and accuse her of eye-balling and flirting with their man simply because that girl's skirt was high hemmed and shirt was low cut. It's crazy (but also quite entertaining)! You would think women would have more confidence to just keep it moving. But it's not about confidence. It's about the opportunity to "correct" another woman and few woman I know pass on that chance privately or publicly. But as a woman that wears clothing deemed too skimpy to wear out in public you have to accept the attention that comes with it, whether you are seeking it or not. Granted not every woman that wears daisy dukes that reveal her bare bottom is a hoe-bag and not every woman that wears a halter top with her boobies popping out is a slut-bucket. But it's the assumption that makes the difference. The thinking becomes if a woman is that revealing with her clothing she cannot value herself and she is extremely hoe-ish in her behaviors. Again I don't believe it's right to label and judge a woman because she is showing more skin but again "perception is reality" and other women will nail you to the cross.

   Now lets flip that coin to the other side...the MALE PERSPECTIVE. This is perhaps the most damaging view point because of the direct and indirect impact a man can have on a woman's image and reputation. I know dudes that purposely target women with low self-esteem and "daddy issues" simply so the task of getting the draws is less of a challenge. In his mind, those traits are usually attributed to the women in the clubs, in the church and at the bars that are wearing...yes you guessed it...the whore's uniform. You know the variations of the perceived whore's uniform, the way-too-short sundresses with the low cut top that barely cover the nipples (YES!), the 15 inch stripper boots with the skin tight pants and the neon thong showing (BOOYAH!) or the club regulars that are always on the floor dancing pissy drunk, rubbing and kissing on their girlfriends wearing see-through lingerie and high heels (SCORE!!!). And unfortunately because of what society and past evidence has taught him he continues to pursue women that dress in this fashion. By going after women that constantly wear inappropriate and provocative clothing, he believes he gives himself a higher success rate of securing those "targets". He believes these type of women require minimal investments but yield an abundant return (sex, Sex, and MO SEX) and he will use her until he has had his fill and is ready to move on to the next target. But here is the part that is truly sad. ***SPOILER ALERT*** He WILL tell ALL his friends (male and female) about all these whore-uniform wearing chicks that he smashes, because he doesn't respect them (however he will never reveal such information about a woman he does respect).

   Then the assumptions, that a woman that dresses a certain IS a certain way continues to spread thus solidifying other people's beliefs that clothes determine personality. That man will now lump all women that dress too revealing into an unfair category. He will cease to respect any woman he meets dressed that way because he has learned from past experiences that women who dress like whores seem to have little impulse control, less regard for social rules, and are easily influenced. He will make the correlation that all women that dress like hoes are hoes and he will not respect any woman that does. See it all goes back to that concept of "perception is reality". Martin Lawrence once said in his TV Sitcom, "I like my women classy not showing all the assy" (man, I miss that show). He said that because of the perceived view of women that dress like whores, act like whores. I know it is not fair (what part of being a woman is?) But the bottom line is, if you act like a lady, talk like a lady and DRESS like a lady folks will have no choice but to treat AND respect you like a lady. Because there are few things more confusing for folks than trying to figure out if you are a lady who is a lady...but chooses to wear a whore's uniform. If a person has to guess they will almost always, NOT give you the benefit of the doubt and you will be labeled a whore (sorry, but it's true). People in particular are simple and if you want the proper attention from men and women keep it simple. Dress like a lady...be treated like a lady.


Be Safe. Be Blessed.
TWIL