HE LIES To ME Because I Allow Him To...

   Lauryn Hill once said "Some dumb woman was I. And every time he'd lie, he would cry and inside I'd die. My heart must have died a thousand deaths. Compared myself to Toni Braxton, thought I'd never catch my breath." I guess that's why music and lyrics are so easy to relate to. Because she was absolutely right. EVERY time he lies I do feel dumb. Dumb because I KNOW he is lying. But yet I accept his words. Hell I even forgive him when I get tired of pretending I don't know the truth and confront him. I often ask myself why do I put up with his lies? Am I not deserving of a man that will be truthful with me? In all honesty I know he constantly lies because he knows I will forgive him. But why? Why do I forgive him? I love him that's why. Well that's what I say to convince myself being lied to is acceptable.

   I think I forgive him because I don't want to lose him. I'm comfortable with our situation and I am just unwilling to learn someone new at this point of my life. Every time we get into an argument that stems from me catching him in a lie it always starts and ends the same way. Me cussing and fussing his ass out then him apologizing profusely begging me not to go. Then later we are making up. It seems like an endless cycle. One that I think I am finally tired of. But that's the problem I think I am...I am a grown woman. I should know for sure. If I was as sick of his bullshit as I proclaim to be I would do something about it.

   It's obvious he isn't going to all of a sudden change so I have to push the issue. I hate giving ultimatums but this is my life and if he wants to be apart of it he needs to respect me and my requirements. It's like my momma always told me "Girl a man will only treat you the way YOU allow him to!" That's it! I finally understand what she meant. I have more control over what happens in my life AND who is worthy enough to be in it. I make my stand today. NO MORE LIES. I refuse to be that "Say one thing-do another thing" type of woman. He either respects me or he doesn't and I will not tolerate a man who says he loves me but shows me complete disrespect! I understand now that my problem has a very simple resolution. I either allow him to continue to deceive me or force him to be honest. I know now he lies to me because I allow him to...

Be BETTER TODAY, than you were yesterday.
TWIL