IN OUR DAUGHTER'S EYES

 When it really hit me that I was going to become a father I cried. I sat up one night and just balled. I didn't know if I was ready to accept the responsibility of caring for a life outside of his own. Sure I had a wife but she was independent in the sense that she didn't need me to provide and care for her, she just let me do it. A child would be different. In order to survive they would need my complete and total attention. A child would depend on me for everything ranging from food to protection during their first years of life. After many prayers had been said and many tears had fallen I made peace with what was to come. I accepted the task that had been appointed to me by the good Lord. I was ready to help my wife welcome our child into the world. So I went full throttle. I attended every class and doctor's appointment I could. I read numerous parenting books, browsed Internet sites and I soaked up all the tips and advice I could from my own family and friends that had raised up their own children. I was ready! But then as with most situations in my life, I experienced that moment when I believed that I was prepared to handle one thing but then had to readjust my whole game plan because the situation had dramatically changed. Everything that I thought I was prepared for was turned upside down. My moment occurred when the ultrasound tech looked at my wife and I then while pointing to an image on a screen smiled and said "Congratulations! You're having a little girl!"

   Since we had experienced tragedies with previous pregnancies we didn't care about the baby's sex we were just concerned with the baby's overall health. But when I heard I would be a father to a daughter I immediately felt unprepared and began to unravel all over again. A daughter meant that I would bear the momentous burden of a blessing of becoming the sole model by which all the men in her life would be measured against. Not only would I be tasked with protecting and providing for her but I would have to properly prepare her how to deal with men, more specifically men like me! Then that's when my heart sank into the darkest pits of my stomach. I would have to face my greatest fears which meant taking responsibility for all the dirt I had done to the women in my life and most shamefully to her own mother. I just keep thinking how would I react when I was faced with that great confrontation when our daughter was of age to date. What I would do when she brought home a boy/man that is the exact replica of what I used to be. What if she falls in love with the same type of unworthy man that her mother fell in love with...me! I was calmly loosing my mind in the exam room. Our daughter wasn't even out of the womb yet and I was flipping out. Then as quickly as my panic began it stopped. I was calmed by the sound of a pounding pulse being amplified over the monitor speakers.

   It was the beautiful sound of our unborn daughter's strong heart beat. As it echoed through my ears for the first time in my young life I believe I had felt the presence of God. It was at that moment that I finally understand my purpose. I knew then that our daughter would benefit from the guidance of her mother and the experience of her father. She would have a formidable team supporting her throughout her life. So regardless if she was to experience what her mother did she would be able to survive and prosper through it because she had us to learn from and lean on if needed. I was finally viewing the entire picture. I had been told all my life that the good Lord has a plan for us all and I was fully prepared to play my part. Even though my ears were listening to her heart beat it was my eyes that were benefiting. Because at that moment I saw that after all the wrong I had ever committed, after all the tears I had ever caused to fall, after all the pain I had ever inflicted...I saw an opportunity to redeem myself. I saw a reason to become a better man. That vision changed me. Months later I was holding in my arms the product of the great testament of love my wife and I shared. I looked onto my daughters face and officially welcomed her into the world. When her little eyes met with mine for the first, of what would be many times, I saw the true definition of unconditional love...in our daughter's eyes.

I would like to wish our baby girl a BLESSED 4th BIRTHDAY!!!
May the Lord bless you to celebrate many more.
LOVE YOU DEARLY ANGEL FACE

Be GREAT TODAY, because you may not be given the time to be tomorrow.
TWIL